Part 16

Or, “The Wolf Who Cried Guilty.

Actions speak louder than words. Love isn’t a feeling, it is an action. Jealousy, however, is a feeling, and is often an unfortunate side effect of love, giving way to stupid behavior and clumsiness.

If one had nothing to hide, they wouldn’t hide. If one truly hated another, they wouldn’t waste their time saying cruel things about them behind their back. And if one were, say, smart, they wouldn’t publicly flaunt their illegal behavior.

It isn’t wrong to feel jealous. Feeling jealous doesn’t make one “crazy” or “pathetic.” Jealousy is an emotion that one feels as a result of their own feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Do not run from it, and do not hide it. Speak of it, instead. Explain your feelings of inadequacy to the person who makes you feel that way, and try together to come to an understanding as to why you feel the way you do, and you may be surprised to find that you have nothing to worry about. You could be surprised to find that you’re not alone, and perhaps you ignite within that person the very same feelings.

Always remember that communication is important for everything we face in life. Without it, there is no understanding, and without understanding, there is no hope for peace.

Honesty is never the wrong answer. Regardless of how hard it may be to come clean about the darkness inside you, remember that it can only bring peace in the end. For the longer you let your guilt fester inside of you, the more problems it will inevitably cause. Guilt is like a tick. It creeps in, finds a nice place to nestle, and then begins to feed. It may take time for you to notice. And you may never notice, until one day it becomes this giant, swollen abscess, weighing you down and drawing stares.

Two things to keep in mind at all times that might help one to be the best person they can be are as follows:

1. What would me from 5 years ago think of the me that I am at this moment?

2. What might the me in 5 more years think looking back on this me?

For number 2, keep in mind the idea that as we grow and age, we become better and better people, and if we don’t look back on our former selves and facepalm, then we are not actually growing as people. And so you must always assume that for #2, the answer is something along the lines of shame.

So now revisiting question one, remember who you were then. Have you betrayed that person? Have you let them down? Have you made a liar of them and shamed them? And if you feel that the person you were in the past would also be ashamed of who you are being at this moment in time, consider that who you are choosing now to be is not great. Only then can you come to terms with it and begin to find your way back on track.