Microchimerism.

https://aeon.co/essays/microchimerism-how-pregnancy-changes-the-mothers-very-dna

I guess it’s called microchimerism, not paternal chimerism.

But it’s been on my mind a lot lately.

It makes sense that you can’t understand. Because you are a part of me, but I am not part of you.

Traits I never used to have… No wonder I can’t seem to find myself again. Because I’m not myself anymore.

Of course you can walk away so easily. You aren’t bound to me like I am to you. You can get up and separate yourself from me, but I literally can’t do the same without leaving my own body.

It’s not enough that you took yourself away from me along with my last living child, but you literally took my individuality, too. I gave you all I had and it was never enough. It never will be.

I let you go because it’s what you wanted. And maybe you are happy now. But I will never be happy again because you legitimately can’t let me go. You will always be a part of me, and I can’t escape it.